Babahun, demagogy is out ot the question. Is evident only guilty is user, his fault for not checking what he's installing on a test site before using first. If you don't know how to solve, you could, instead of lose your time and the dev one, hire someone to fix the ploblems, even better! you could hire someone to code your website exactly as you want! but, hei, wait... that would not be free... crap.
As I user, waht I do is follow on projects that I find itneresting, try them on a test site, try to contribute (nothing I'm afraid

) as much as I can and bug report for the devs, or experienced users to fix.
If you way that other people has fixed these errors, surely you could give a try to their fixes couldn't you? if you can't, nor want to spend the money on someone to do, why don't you stay with things like myspace or facebook? for sure these will not give you any problem. You can't expect in a team of 3 people, for them to start checking every user bug, some times, not caused of the program, even when it seems it is. What you think it's best, to fix the error that is only happening you (because if it's a general one, code gurus will have already find a fix and posted on forums), or to improve code to go from 250 queries to 4?
I've been following fb since it started, and never aplied it to a live site, because it had evident flaws I would not tolerate on a live site, basically performance. This said, I like a lot the project and the overall work on it, and cannot be anything but thankful to the people who offer, this buggy code, for free to all of us.
On the other hand, is evident that community relationship hasn't been a bed of roses... devs share their part (absences), moderators theirs (you knwo what I mean) and users too (me,me,me, now, now, now, you owe, you owe, you owe,... love Hook...

))